This morning, I fetched the boxes and brought them to my office to unpack. One item in particular...
You can already see where this is going
...was gifted to me by a physician for whom I used to work. He said that I probably needed it more than he did [questionable], but I was happy to have it in case of an emergency. When the occasion arises, you can simply push the bullshit button, and one of five zesty phrases get yelled by an official-sounding male voice.
This morning, while I was carrying one box down the hall [which I had forgotten contained the above button], some items must have shifted and the office echoed with, "BULLSHIT DETECTED! TAKE PRECAUTION!"