Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Surprise! Your Husband is Gay!

I used to work in a greeting card and gift shop, and I specialized in invitation and stationery design.  One of my favorite aspects of the job was that it was always happy times -- birthdays and anniversaries and weddings and babies and holidays and garden parties and barbeques.  All the good stuff.  And because of this, I typically had the pleasure of working with pleasant, excited clients, but of course there is an exception to every rule.

One of my least favorite customers at this shop was largely pregnant and due nearly any day.  It did not bother me that she was excessively particular, as I have a tendency to be the same way.  It was that she was repeatedly short with me and generally unpleasant at each visit.  I will never know if she was just irritable from being severely pregnant or if she had a crappy personality in general, but I believe people who cannot behave in public should stay home and shop online.

She visited the store multiple times, searching for the perfect birth announcement, and I showed her everything we had available.  The idea of shopping for birth announcements prior to the baby being born, is that the parents can have everything selected and paid for, and all they have to do is call with the date and time of birth, weight, length, etc., and I could send the order right off to the printer.

On her third visit, she found the announcement she was looking for and all she needed was validation from her husband, then they would be ready to order.  She brought her husband into the shop with her the next day, and he was very kind and mild-mannered.  And so handsome!  I actually enjoyed helping him and was somewhat surprised at how pleasant he was, as his wife was not-so-much.  I finished helping them and we sealed the deal.

As they were exiting the shop, my manager came over to me and he said, "That guy.  I think I know him.  Is his name [insert man's name here]?"  When I confirmed that that was the client's name, my manager exclaimed, "I've had sex with him!"